Top Billing

I love watching people. In varsity I would randomly sit on the stairs at campus and watch people as they passed by… the Goths, the cool kids, the nerds… It’s even more fun to watch people who love attention. During my 12 months of unemployment, I was really bored and needed some entertainment, I even went for the Top Billing auditions.

One sister told me to go for it. I had nothing to lose.

The other sister said “ Don’t embarrass the family wena 🙂 In fact y don’t u use a pseudonym 🙂 Give yourself another name for the audition 🙂 Then we don’t have to do any explaining to our friends :))”

So much faith!

It was tiring (got to Melrose Arch at 7am. Auditions were only starting at 9am, only went in to see the judges around 2pm) but it was fun. I even made 2 friends and we still keep in touch 1 year + after the auditions.

Like I said, I enjoy watching people. And there were a lot of colorful people at the auditions. There was the girl who kept name dropping about her-boyfriend –whose-name-she-couldn’t-mention-but-we-just-had-to-know-that-he’s-in-the-film-industry. Not to forget her-best-friend-Terry-Pheto-who-she-was-having-drinks-with-the-other-day-when-she-decided-to-give-the-auditions-a-try. Then there was the model that came at 12 noon and decided to go straight to the front of the line because her agent had organized everything for her. Unfortunately, the agent hadn’t sorted things out and she had to do the walk of shame to the back of the queue.

Not to forget the over-confident guy who was probably compensating for his boring personality with his loud voice and over bearing personality. And the cross dresser who was just having so much fun.

And then there were some people there who made me wonder if life was just one BIG joke to them. The auditions were in 2 parts. The first part consisted of about 6 rooms in which the initial auditions were held. If you impressed the staff in these rooms then you moved onto the other room where Jeanie D (one o f the main presenters) was. You only had to go into one of the 6 rooms.  Of course they had to screen the good, the bad and the ugly for TV so even some questionable characters made it. The instructions were simple.  Walk and Talk. There were 2 “x” on the floor and we had to walk from one x to another while saying our script and looking at the camera. Simple instructions. You would think it was that simple. There was this one girl who was in my group. She just got so confused. She couldn’t even see the “x” on the floor.

I had to point it out to her and even then, she looked like a deer caught in headlights! It was too funny to watch but at the time my own nerves were so frazzled, I couldn’t be of much help.

I had fun. I made it to the 2nd room and that’s about as far I got. But I’m glad I did it and I don’t regret going at all.

Fans of the show also commented a lot on the website. Here are a couple of comments I enjoyed the most…

Aesthetically appealing*—–> that means you must be what exactly in top billing terms? no normal people… easy on the eyes… boobs… have a thing for fake hair and nails… giggle but not too much and have a flat tummy… and no bucked tooth y’all …

 Kwaaaaaa! Just like the government, they’re following the protocol (or whatever). Nepotism rules in SA, or you should know people in high places in order to get a good job like this. Who knows, maybe they will disappoint us and hire and “ordinary” person. Me, I say, let’s wait and see.

 Top Billing, are you for real? You know who you want so why waste our time? I think the same money you paid to travel the country to waste all the poor hopeful peoples time could be used to feed the poor in this country. This whole stunt was to just improve viewership. This actually reminds me of some of the pathetic election ploys used by some of our politicians to get more votes.

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