It’s a weekend and the kids are home. I’m not a huge fan of kids being plonked in front of the TV the entire day. I think kids need fresh air and other activities to stimulate them other than TV. When the kids were younger, they used to watch about an hour of TV during the week, before supper and after supper just before bedtime. They were allowed to watch cartoons on the weekend only. They woke up earlier than everyone else so they had about 2 hours of cartoon watching before the rest of the house woke up and life began. Now, they know how to switch the TV on and off, change channels, pre-record shows etc so they tend to watch more TV but their mom has strict rules as to which shows they can watch. As a result, I have to come up with activities for the kids to do to keep them entertained. I would have taken them to the park and had a little picnic there but I’m yet to gain enough confidence to drive to the other side of town. For now I stick to the shops and the closest mall which is about 10 minutes away and I drive alone *just in case*
I’m feeling tired. I was drained by work when I took my leave. But being on leave has been no better. I’m feeling even more drained. Being a mummy is a full-time job and it’s HARD! I’m going to need a vacation after this “vacation” the way I’m feeling. It’s so bad it’s got me thinking I’m no longer going to have 4 kids (it used to be 8 but as my friends gently suggested, I’m about 6 years behind. I should have started a long time ago!). When the kids were younger, I would run around with them, sing to them, dance with them and do all those crazy auntie things. But now I’m just tired. I’m burnt out and I’m afraid I won’t be able to give my children all of me – which is what they deserve – 100%. I want to be able to run around with the kids and play with them but if taking care of my niece and nephew has made me feel inadequate in such a short space of time, I don’t see how I can have 4 kids. I was listening to a show on radio the other day and they were discussing what size families their listeners want. And the presenters raised a good point – while you may have the money to take care of 15 children, each one has a different personality and you need to be able to understand each child as an individual. I’m burnt out with 2 kids, I can’t imagine having 4 and not knowing my children or being there for them emotionally, spiritually.
But as a friend of mine suggested, you have one child at time so you get used to the idea of being a parent and take it from there.