on gender based violence…

A local DJ in Zimbabwe was beaten up by her boyfriend over the weekend. The story is she asked him to help her do the dishes while she did laundry and he beat her up. Another version says she was ‘misbehaving’ at an event that she attended and he beat her up for that. We can dispute the reasons behind the beating but we cannot dispute the images!

My cousin got admitted into hospital a few days ago. She has some burns on her body. She questioned her husband about some money that had been spent and he boiled water and threw it all over her body. She is going to have scars for the rest of her life.

Gender based violence is on the rise.

I do not think beating someone up has ever solved anything. I find GBV heartbreaking but what prompted this post is the reaction that people still have towards such abuse. The mob justice aspect of it. The said DJ posted a picture of her bruised and battered face. Comments ranged from he didn’t beat you up enough if you still had energy to take pictures, he must do it again and this time harder to stop airing your dirty laundry in public. One man even went as far as to say it’s your own fault this happened to you because you are living in sin. Your boyfriend must continue to beat you up until he has paid lobola for you. His argument was that she is sinning so she may as well get beaten up. He then went to blame the radio station she works for (which by the way he got wrong, he blamed station a yet she works for station b). He blamed the radio station for teaching his kids to live sinful lives by letting her be on air while she’s “living in sin.”  The ignorance is disheartening and I can’t help but wonder if his advice would still be applicable if it his own daughter or  his own sister with the bruised body.

I say kudos to her for putting up that picture, heck kudos to whoever took the pictures.

picture sourced from News DzeZimbabwe

I am that friend that would actually say hey, let’s take pictures of this. Why? So that when you are healed you can look back at those pictures and remember what that monster did to you. So that when friends and relatives try to pressure you into going back to that man (some comments said she must apologise to him and work things out. Yes she must say sorry to him because he beat her up!) we can show them the pictures and ask them if the way your face swelled up is acceptable, so that we can put up these pictures and name and shame the bastard! Yes, I am that friend!

After the DJ put up the picture of her swollen face, people said she deserved it for asking a man to do a woman’s job. If he did not want to do the dishes, all he had to say was NO. At no point is a man justified in beating up a woman EVER! I find it sad that people still think it is a woman’s fault if she gets beaten up. That she asked for it. What makes the situation even more dire is that women are on the man’s side. Their comments are so harsh. They blame her for asking for help. If she can’t ask her partner for help, then who is she supposed to turn to? Why as women, do we not sympathise with each other? Why are we the first to throw the stone? We need to support each other and stand together and say NO to gender based violence.

Violence is never the answer!

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13 thoughts on “on gender based violence…

  1. sittinducks says:

    Is there any legal redress for assault in Zimbabwe? These men are obvious bullies. They attack the weaker, vulnerable ones. It doesn’t help that the people seem to be happy the woman are brutally attacked.

    It really does not compute that these women are attacked like this for what seems to be questions that wouldn’tnormally evoke this sort of behavior. Unless these are isolated behaviors, it seems like this is part of the country’s culture, particularly, in light of acceptance on the part of other people to such an horrific assault.

  2. A very different world. I can’t see myself hitting a woman; what kind of a man brutalizes one? This is the time for a community of people to appeal to her to leave that man. This woman really needs a support system to take her away from such a terrible man. So many women return to those men and that invites more injuries onto them.

    Do you know a way to contact this woman and send her positive messages. I really think we should not sit by and watch negative messages prevail. This woman deserves a union that is without this brutality.

    Thanks for posting.

  3. yourothermotherhere says:

    You are so 100% right. I’m glad you are a friend. Taking a picture is a good idea. Women need to leave men who raise their hand to them the first time AND stay gone from them. As long as women take it, men will continue to do it. Women need to start standing up for each other and raise their children to respect everyone regardless of gender.

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