on 2014 in pictures…

If I had to pick 1 word I had to use to describe 2014, I would choose laughter. And although it was a very challenging year, I think a smile was plastered on my face most of the time. When it wasn’t tears, I was smiling through it all. My mentor from university (yes Miss Andie, that’s you) taught me that happiness was a choice and while I’m still learning to choose happiness in every situation. Looking through my camera roll has made me realise that for the most part of this year, when I chose it, I was happy!

Change was also a constant them for me in 2014 and through change, I met some AMAZING souls, worked on friendships that I had let suffer and refused to succumb to fear.

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I have been blessed and I’m making a choice to take happiness along with me throughout 2015.

on car wash dates…

This one is for you Tara 🙂

As you grow older, As I grow older I’ve realised that I don’t have the capacity to take crap from guys anymore. Probably explains why I’m still single when my friends are all getting married. I’ve been told I’m stubborn, I’m hard-headed, I’m too honest, I need to stroke his ego, I need to tone down the strong woman act but hold up it’s not an act! This is who I am so what is the use of toning it down because that means said gentleman will fall for a half version of me and what happens when he discovers the real me, the fighter, no nonsense chic who speaks her mind? Isn’t that a recipe for disaster?

Anyway, I digress, the point of this post is to talk about me refusing to take nonsense. This post was brought about by a whatsapp conversation that I had recently with a certain gentleman. I had a few errands to run at the mall when he hit me up on whatsapp (that’s a story for another blog post). He wanted me to accompany him to the car wash. The exact words were “Its a nice one I can’t go alone Pane car wash laundry sadza ne saloon Tongo tsvaga ma drinks coz havatengese ipapo”

On that particular day it was blazing hot and I was not in the mood to be assaulted by soap sud smells with a hint of boiled muriwo and a tinge of burnt hair while sitting on a crate sipping on a Savannah Angry Lemon trying to look cool in my Jacqui O inspired sunglasses while swatting nunzi away with my open palm. Granted the car wash is probably very different from my little scenario but I was just not in the mood for car wash vibes. So I chose the air conditioned movie house at the mall over the car wash and that’s when the statements began and said gentleman guy insinuated that I was a gold digger.

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To be honest, I’m not a car wash type of girl. I prefer my sushi and cocktails. And I don’t expect anything from anyone that I can’t do for myself. But that doesn’t mean I don’t go to “sadza” places. I do go and I have been before sometimes with even just the girls and no men. I’m that girl who has even gone to Hillbrow because Aleck Macheso was playing at one spot *no judging, this is my blog 🙂 *

But because on this particular day I chose to go to the mall over hanging out at the car wash I earned myself a label. My response to him was along the lines of you can go ahead and put me in whatever box you feel like, I’m not even going to fight it. See the thing is I’m 27 years old, turning 28 in a few weeks. I’m past the stage of trying to explain myself and lower my assertiveness because I might scare a guy away. I just don’t have the energy anymore plus it’s hard to always try to remember not to be myself so I’ve embraced who I am.

Another phrase that got thrown at me last year was that I should be grateful this other guy was even calling as if he was doing me a favour – I sure do know how to pick them lol. I let it be known that I didn’t need favours and our interactions are very different and very minimal ever since that phrase.

Why am I writing about this today? Because I realise it’s ok NOT to accept bad behaviour from someone. And I’ve learnt that people treat you how you let them treat you. So if you roll over and let people speak to you like they are doing you favours by even having your number in their phone book, that’s on you but I’m saying that’s NOT ok. Disagreements do happen but there is a difference between disagreeing and being disrespected. So it’s ok to cut communication with people that you feel don’t respect you or your time. Life is too short to keep people around that subtract the joy from your days. It’s new year and when you start seeing your worth, you will find it harder to stay around people who don’t!

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on my crazy cronies…

I always knew I had a bunch of remarkable friends but it was only until we got arrested that I realised the extent to which my cronies dabbled on the borderline of crazy.

Mine is a colourful group – ranging from lawyers, chefs, accountants, beauty therapists, musicians and everything else in between.  We have laughed together, cried together, been grounded together, and travelled together. The parentals finally realised that this chosen family could not be separated. And they tried to break up the friendships numerous times over the course of the years until they realised they were only creating difficult tasks for themselves and we were content with our friendship.

It all started on a lazy Saturday. Taurai suggested we go and have a braai somewhere. Or did it all start when we found the money? I did mention, ours was an incredible bunch! How we found it is a story for another day.

As we were driving to one of our favourite spots after purchasing copious amounts of meat and alcohol, I suggested we have the braai at one of the mansions on the way to our spot. “It’s rich folk houses so they are always empty!  How many times have we used this route and we have never come across anybody! How many cars have you heard starting in this area? We need to live a little!”

That was all it took. Initially, it was supposed to be a joke but the crew was never one to say no to a challenge and that is how we found ourselves breaking and entering.

Tresspasing SHOT

We picked a house at random and the sight that greeted our eyes as we finally made it through the hedges was breathtaking. Yes, we went through the hedge! The house was enormous. It was made of red brick that seemed to be glaring at us and challenging us to try something, anything! It had huge windows which we watched for a few minutes and convinced ourselves, had someone been home, we would have seen some movement by now.

“I see this in the movies all the time,” said Frank breaking the silence. He used all his strength to shift a pot plant that was close to the door. “The key will be underneath here!” he declared boldly.

Alas he found nothing! The entire group burst out laughing! “It’s ok Frank, we don’t need to get into the house anyway. Let’s go round the back and check out the setting there” muttered Sabelo.

We all trooped to the rear of the house. The view was astonishing.  Big towering trees, well manicured lawns and a fountain set the scene. And there set in a shady corner of the garden close to the pool was the grill station. It was set up with expensive looking equipment and a fully stocked bar. We had hit the jackpot!

The boys wasted no time in setting up the fire while the girls got the meat ready. Whatever drinks we hadn’t bought for ourselves, we found at that bar. After a couple of hours, as the drinks started flowing and talk became reckless, Frank feeling like he had to prove a point decided he could get into that house at all costs.

“It’s not necessary,” the group chastised. Others admonished while others cheered him on. “Go for it buddy. These girls think you are a sissy now. Show them who is in charge.”

Frank had all the liquid courage he needed and he felt confident. He left the group to go on his mission.  As we all suspected defeat, we got back to our transgressions and paid no attention to Frank, determined to enjoy our final moments here.

The ear-piercing scream is what reminded us we were on borrowed time. We all turned towards the house and there was Frank.  Being dragged by the ear by a man proportionately as humongous as his house.

“Run for it guys. I’ll be ok,” screamed Frank. We all made a dash for the cars. As trespassers you have to take some precautionary measures as you never know what to expect which is why we had parked our cars outside the gate, a safe distance away from the house. Since we had not waltzed into the yard through the front gate, the thick hedge surrounding the house was our only way out of this madness.

It was quite a site.

 We ran in all directions but the mission was the same and didn’t need to be communicated twice.

We ran in all directions but the mission was the same and didn’t need to be communicated twice.

Eventually, we made it out, huffing and puffing like old ladies.

We drove off to Sihle’s house. Before we had even disembarked the cars, resounding laughter heard ensued. We laughed at ourselves until tears streamed down our faces. And then we faced reality.  We had to get Frank back.

Eventually through connections of Sabelo, we found out which police station he had been taken to.

As it was my idea I was tasked with going in to bail him out. Everyone else waited a safe distance away from the police station. I got there and played my best damsel in distress dating a silly guy routine and after parting with a considerable amount of cash, I finally got Frank out of the police station.

As for Frank, he then explained how it had all gone down. The front door hadn’t been locked. He had just walked in and was so busy admiring the house that by the time he realised he had walked into the bedroom and woken up the owner, it was too late. The owner of the house had dragged him to the police station to report the crime and said there had been a whole herd of us trespassing. Frank had denied and insisted he was alone. The owner had then left Frank with the cops to go and assess the damage back at his property. The cops had strongly reprimanded Frank and threatened to call his parents. We are pretty sure the owner of the house wanted to press charges. But by the time he returned to the station, Frank and the officer who had taken the owner’s statement were nowhere to be seen.  I had arrived at the police station in the nick of time.

on wanderlust..

pic sourced from imgfave

Leo was onto something! I’ve always wanted to see every inch of the world. All I want to do is travel, explore ancient cities, get sunburnt on a beach somewhere, sip coffee in a cosy little cafe filled with locals telling stories, get lost somewhere, cycle through a city, taste new foods and make new friends!

Watch this space! 🙂

on sisters, marriage and growing up…

One of my sisters and I have a running gag that has gone on for the past couple of years. Our mom would always tell us how we would embarrass her when we got married as we could not cook and the in-laws would send us back. Now, in the Shona culture, having your daughter sent back is highly “humiliating”. It reflects badly on the girl’s family as it implies that they did not raise her up right hence she was “returned”.   In our defence, it wasn’t that we couldn’t cook. Those who know us on a personal level know that we can hold our own in the kitchen. Truth is – we were just lazy. So whenever we chose to have mazoe and bread over cooking sadza nemuriwo she lectured us!

Don’t get me wrong. Mummy meant well! She just wanted to raise daughters who wouldn’t struggle to put together a decent meal. The idea of us embarrassing her was what made the situation hilarious for my sister and I.  Fast forward 10 – 15 years later, my sister is getting married and as the ever-so-loving little sister – I am quick to tease her about how she must now know how to cook since she is getting married!

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Big sis and I at my graduation.

on Monica…

I met a girl

And we hit it off immediately!

She had a beautiful smile

And always had a story or two to share

I knew her for a short space of time

But it was more than enough to make us friends.

We spent time together on 2 occasions

Celebrating the start of a new life

And mourning the end of another

The irony!

But we hit it off immediately

Swapped numbers so we could check up on each other.

Then she stopped responding to my messages

But she was always on my mind!

So I decided to confront her

Why had she gone silent?

Had I done/said something wrong?

Or was ours a seasonal friendship?

And our season was spent!

Those thoughts would have been more comforting than the truth!

The girl I had met

The girl I befriended

Had passed away!

She was no more!

I was not there when they buried her

But I too shed a tear

i didn’t get the chance to say goodbye

To share one more joke

To smile and tease each other

To hear her say I know what I want in life!

To hug her

To hear her laugh!

I think of her often

I miss her

RIP Monica!
Gone but never forgotten!