on my crazy cronies…

I always knew I had a bunch of remarkable friends but it was only until we got arrested that I realised the extent to which my cronies dabbled on the borderline of crazy.

Mine is a colourful group – ranging from lawyers, chefs, accountants, beauty therapists, musicians and everything else in between.  We have laughed together, cried together, been grounded together, and travelled together. The parentals finally realised that this chosen family could not be separated. And they tried to break up the friendships numerous times over the course of the years until they realised they were only creating difficult tasks for themselves and we were content with our friendship.

It all started on a lazy Saturday. Taurai suggested we go and have a braai somewhere. Or did it all start when we found the money? I did mention, ours was an incredible bunch! How we found it is a story for another day.

As we were driving to one of our favourite spots after purchasing copious amounts of meat and alcohol, I suggested we have the braai at one of the mansions on the way to our spot. “It’s rich folk houses so they are always empty!  How many times have we used this route and we have never come across anybody! How many cars have you heard starting in this area? We need to live a little!”

That was all it took. Initially, it was supposed to be a joke but the crew was never one to say no to a challenge and that is how we found ourselves breaking and entering.

We picked a house at random and the sight that greeted our eyes as we finally made it through the hedges was breathtaking. Yes, we went through the hedge! The house was enormous. It was made of red brick that seemed to be glaring at us and challenging us to try something, anything! It had huge windows which we watched for a few minutes and convinced ourselves, had someone been home, we would have seen some movement by now.

“I see this in the movies all the time,” said Frank breaking the silence. He used all his strength to shift a pot plant that was close to the door. “The key will be underneath here!” he declared boldly.

Alas he found nothing! The entire group burst out laughing! “It’s ok Frank, we don’t need to get into the house anyway. Let’s go round the back and check out the setting there” muttered Sabelo.

We all trooped to the rear of the house. The view was astonishing.  Big towering trees, well manicured lawns and a fountain set the scene. And there set in a shady corner of the garden close to the pool was the grill station. It was set up with expensive looking equipment and a fully stocked bar. We had hit the jackpot!

The boys wasted no time in setting up the fire while the girls got the meat ready. Whatever drinks we hadn’t bought for ourselves, we found at that bar. After a couple of hours, as the drinks started flowing and talk became reckless, Frank feeling like he had to prove a point decided he could get into that house at all costs.

“It’s not necessary,” the group chastised. Others admonished while others cheered him on. “Go for it buddy. These girls think you are a sissy now. Show them who is in charge.”

Frank had all the liquid courage he needed and he felt confident. He left the group to go on his mission.  As we all suspected defeat, we got back to our transgressions and paid no attention to Frank, determined to enjoy our final moments here.

The ear-piercing scream is what reminded us we were on borrowed time. We all turned towards the house and there was Frank.  Being dragged by the ear by a man proportionately as humongous as his house.

“Run for it guys. I’ll be ok,” screamed Frank. We all made a dash for the cars. As trespassers you have to take some precautionary measures as you never know what to expect which is why we had parked our cars outside the gate, a safe distance away from the house. Since we had not waltzed into the yard through the front gate, the thick hedge surrounding the house was our only way out of this madness.

It was quite a site.

We ran in all directions but the mission was the same and didn’t need to be communicated twice.

Eventually, we made it out, huffing and puffing like old ladies.

We drove off to Sihle’s house. Before we had even disembarked the cars, resounding laughter heard ensued. We laughed at ourselves until tears streamed down our faces. And then we faced reality.  We had to get Frank back.

Eventually through connections of Sabelo, we found out which police station he had been taken to.

As it was my idea I was tasked with going in to bail him out. Everyone else waited a safe distance away from the police station. I got there and played my best damsel in distress dating a silly guy routine and after parting with a considerable amount of cash, I finally got Frank out of the police station.

As for Frank, he then explained how it had all gone down. The front door hadn’t been locked. He had just walked in and was so busy admiring the house that by the time he realised he had walked into the bedroom and woken up the owner, it was too late. The owner of the house had dragged him to the police station to report the crime and said there had been a whole herd of us trespassing. Frank had denied and insisted he was alone. The owner had then left Frank with the cops to go and assess the damage back at his property. The cops had strongly reprimanded Frank and threatened to call his parents. We are pretty sure the owner of the house wanted to press charges. But by the time he returned to the station, Frank and the officer who had taken the owner’s statement were nowhere to be seen.  I had arrived at the police station in the nick of time.